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Gripper

Fₛ = kx

gripper
Stop Britain being invaded.

Preamble

According to the statistics the stronger your grip the longer you will live. Therefore it is obvious that men will live longer than women, indeed that women are men. I was warned about this by a former work colleague/flat earther who told me that women were men and men were women.

Realising that I must be a woman and therefore won't live long I have therefore undertaken a regime of grip training to increase my grip strength until I become a man. I used to train with the Captains of Crush grippers by Randall J. Strossen of Ironmind Enterprises and tried the Nos. 1, 2, 3 and 4 grippers.  I worked up to a parallel close on the No. 2 gripper; in other words I would set the gripper to parallel in my hand and close it from there.

I never did close the No. 3 gripper which would be the sign of a true man, it was stated to require 280 lbs of force to close, I got it to about 3 mm from closing.  I always assumed that this stated force was at the ends, as if the gripper was being squashed by 2 parallel plates, however the force is more like at the middle of the handles.

Actual tests on the grippers are at around 75% along the handle length.

Rather than use the Captains of Crush I decided to use the Iron Grip 90. It has 6 settings. At its strongest (6th) setting it states 90 kg (but measures 77.1 kg) somewhere between the Captains of Crush No. 3 (67.5 kg) and No. 3.5 (89.8 kg).

grippers
The GD Iron 90, versus a Captains of Crush No.1 which has the handles shortened and filed thinner.

To me the Iron Grip 90 on its strongest setting feels like the No. 4 gripper rather than the No. 3, maybe I was stronger in the past and therefore lived longer in the past.

My grip is getting stronger, so I am living longer, soon I will have the grip of a Titan and will live forever on our beautiful flat earth.

10th June 2024